I'm tired. Which sucks. I've told some of my friends about my depression and the lie. And all they said was "Oh, I understand you.." Hah' not at all they did. They don't know how it feels. To be a strong and independent woman and suddenly *crash*. I can do nothing by myself without thinking "Was that good enough?" or something like that. My depression has become a dear friend of mine - if you have never been depressed, you don't know the feeling.

The crappy feeling of being down in the years of teenage life cannot be described like the same as a depression. You might want to die - but you're not mentally ill. And that's the difference! Mentally ill or not. They told me - all of them. "You're mentally ill, Yukiko." So now, my depression and I stick together like glue. I cannot let go of it even though I hate it. And that feeling is speciel... Loving something yet hating it. Speciel - definetely. Lovable? No.

Oh, I was so proud of my self! I only ate 150 g. for breakfast..Be proud of me!! :) When I'm down to 100 g. for breakfast I'll write you.

- Yours Yukiko <3