A promise.

I wanna write my thoughts down right now. Under the topic of 'A Promise' and it has absolutely nothing to do with a promise. I want to write down my story. My jealousy, my friends. My pains.

My jealousy:
I'm a weird human. Many people often get jealous of people they don't know. Katja does, just as an example. But I don't. I get jealous of the people I know. I'll just make a true and honest and reliable example. This is my jealousy when it was worst. I have had a friend from the childhood. She hadn't been treating me very well all the time, yet I still saw her as my friend. Then I met Katja and she became my best friend. I talked proudly about her, cuz I was proud of her. Proud of being her friend. So I introduced them. They had fun. Way too much fun. It hurt whenever Katja wrote she loved her. And it was always backwards. I wasn't the only one saying I loved Katja now. I still not am, but things changed. My childhood friend started getting jealous of me being Katjas best friend. So she did everything to make me feel worthless. Whenever I confronted her she said she had no idea what I was talking about. I told Katja about it. I felt so unworthy. I could have been killing myself, just to make sure that Katja and my childhood friend could be together without me being a burden. But I grew older, realized that I had to move on - told my childhood friend to stay away from me. It still makes me jealous knowing that they're having a good time, but I try not to think about it, cuz I know she bothering everybody sometimes too. And I know it lifted a huge burden from my shoulders to say goodbye. And to be honest, I don't want her to have a good life. She can screw to hell.

My friends.
If a certain friend read this, she'll probably feel jealous and bad but she doesn't have to. Yeah..
My friends means a hell lot to me, I described them a little before. But I'll just make a clear describtion of them now. God, it's going to be long this post. XD Think we'll skip the pain for next time.
Anyway :) My friends.
Why don't we start out with those who mean something to me, but aren't the ones that mean a lot to me, eh?
In here we got Sarah (Miss Universe). Sarah is a friend and she's amazing. Even though she have her own problems and such, it really means a lot to me that she hasn't given up on me. So, yeah.
Mia, also know as Loch Ness, is my little monster. No, she's a great friend, and I really care about her. I fucking do. Even though she's so young.
Murloc, also named Clara, is someone I've been writing with for.... a year or so. I just have fun writing with her. She's a really weird person, God. XD
Simone AKA Molly will be in here too. I think. Sweet girl, she really cares for me. I don't understand why though. Anyway, it doesn't matter - I care for her too.

And now the friends that means a lot to me. I don't know if I can explain why.
First we got Mathilde, whom I call Katjakaj and Sierra Prentiss. Mathilde is really someone meaning a lot to me. Although we might is very different it doesn't matter, cuz somehow I feel a connection. I just don't wanna lose her. But if it happens, I'll just remember her as a very good friend, and it will be good memories. Maybe it will work out better when we meet.
Second Mai have this spot. There's always the honorific -chan on her name, but she was called Mai by her parents. Mai means... a lot. She helped me out in a lot of moments. I owe her a lot and I know that I'm one of her best friends too. She trusts me. That is a big honour cuz she don't trust many.
Third may be Sofie. Better known as Yu-chan. Yu-chan knows me a lot. I enjoy every second I spend with her, and all of my best concerts involves a Yu-chan. I feel so hurt when she's down and she says she selfish and will not tell me why. But that's her way of "not concerning me". Fss, doesn't work btw.
Aya will have place here too. I haven't been writing with her a lot, but I feel she knows me well. Which is freaky cuz I don't know if I know her just as well. I might just have had a weakness when it comes to her. I've been opening up fast, but hey. I had a day down and then I don't care who I write too. So, Aya is placed here too. I will not tell her real name, cuz she's thinking of changing it.
In here is also Nadja (Sugar), Sonya (Lovi), Mari (Kitty), Martina and Nathalie. Mari, Martina and Nathalie I met on a special school. I knew Nadja from long time ago but we just started talking for a few years ago. I met Sonya on the internet and to some Cinema Bizarre concert. I cannot go into deep with everything, it will be too long this blogpost. Should have posted more blogs. XD

The last one to be mentioned is my one and only Katja called Bim. If you haven't read the last blogpost, read it to know what she means to me. She has her own categorie - she is my one and only. How you interpret it, I will leave to you. <3