Future?

Right now, I'm sitting here in my friend Mari's house, while she's taking a bath. I'm here to go to some 'see-how-it-is-to-study-on-university'-thing. And... Uhm, yearh. I was offered a place in the Biology class but I never heard from the Biology class though my school said I was going, so I wrote a mail but did not check the answer until today. BUT (because there is a 'but'), the thing is - it all started today. So, I took off with Mari and went with her to the Japan-studies.. And of course I wasn't on that checklist.. Now I just have checked my mail, it says that I'm in the Biology class, but now when I didn't get the first day in Biology, I somehow just want to continue in Japanstudies.. I have been wondering to go to Japanstudies, I did ask for a place in Japanstudies and today I just followed them. I was horrified the entire day. So, now I have to tell Mari that actually I was placed on Biology and that we have to hunt down an office tomorrow because I have to ask whether I can be transferred to Japanstudies in the last two days.. I hate this.

But what will future bring? I don't know. I have too many ideas, too many things I want. I love Japan, but I see no future in studying Japan, I mean - what could I use that to? I like biology, but I'm not that kind of scientist and I don't see myself in a lab. I love English and German, but what future would there be in studying that?! I love Russia, but - same problem as Japan. I love music, but I'm not good enough to do it for a living. I love writing short stories and novell's but I'm not good enough to do that for a living too + it takes success too. So. The only thing I actually "want" is to go to the hospital, say "I'm mentally unstable, help me!" T_T' Sigh, x__x'