Exercise

I've decided to finally make my thinspiration-book. And since I'm mentally ill today and cannot go to school because I fear a break-down, I've decided to do it today. Nobody is going to find out this way either. Fits perfectly. Yesterday I walked home from school - burned 700 calories. Well, 700 calories is a great deal of burning, but. Oh, for crying out loud, it's not enough! So, I made a list of accepted food, all with the amount of calories less than 100. Which means no more meat, no more butter and no more candy/chocolate/chips. It's over and out. 400 calories is just way too much! It's rather disgusting actually. I'm still forced to eat breakfast and dinner, though it seems my parents let me sleep longer and longer and in the end that may result in me not eating breakfast with the rest of the family = allows me to eat no breakfast. I don't eat lunch anymore, lunch.. is disgusting. It's just too many calories. Momma started to believe that salad is good so now she takes the time to make salad. Fewer calories for Yuki!! So, now I just have to stick to my list, not getting tempted, drink a hell lot of water and believe in the fact that I'm losing some weight. Sometimes. God, I hope that I can lower my BMI to 17. I can, I know I can. Well, Papa talked to me yesterday about getting my own place to live. Getting my own place to live means control. It simply means control. And it's so fucking great. I'm really into it now. If they can't see what I eat, I can just eat simply nothing but carrots. I started to check out the amount of calories on everything, simply everything. Before I eat (or don't eat) I check the amount of calories. Over 100? I don't eat it. That's just simple.
So, now that I have gotten my calories more or less into control I just have to start doing some exercise. I wont be walking home from school every day just to burn 700 calories. Almost 16 km. is just a long way to go and it's takes a long time. I should be walking tree times a month or so. I have to dance for at least in hour when I come home. Well, jumping will be more correct though. Jumping at least an hour. Exercise, exercise, exercise. I will never be bicycling to Odense, it'll be too long, though it's only 17 km. It just... feels that long way. So no. I'm still a little too lazy to burn calories that way. Mia has finally got away, I don't puke anymore. Now I just cut as a punishment. But it's okay. I disliked Mia, so I'm glad it's only Ana and I. Welcome in the world, thinspirationbook. You're my need when I'm dealing with the calories and today you're born.