Fail cutting?

I'm still feeling like I'm the wrong kind of cutter.. Because I don't need to see blood, I just need to see evidence. Evidence that I really AM cutting. It's a punishment when I've been eating too many calories, it's a way to flee when I need to flee. But although it helps me out, making this damage, it also feels kinda weird. The knife is so close to me, but it feel like it takes a lot to grab the knife and cut. But when I do cut it feels so great. Am I really the wrong kind of cutter? Am I just some psychopatic wannabee? I don't know. I honestly don't know.

It's hard to answer the question "what's wrong?" when nothing's right.