This is such a weird feeling. You see, love can be many things. You can fall in love with somebody, you can love a dear friend. Well, americans say love way too much. So honestly, I shouldn't feel this weird. But right now I am. I don't know what to feel actually. I am bisexual. I have felt a strong love for females but... I don't know how to interpret her words!
So, my friend is having a really bad day today. Which I, of course, dislike, but I don't have the power to change it. I just wrote with her. Made she promise she would sleep tonight cuz I don't think she sleeps that much because of personal problems. And it was okay.. Well, still feeling bad about her having a bad day but. She got... a little upset when others were talking about Ana and I understand her, I truly do. Ana is taking away her best friend in real life - so of course I understood. And she said Ana was taking away her best friend url. I am a friend of hers, url. With a personal relationship to Ana. Never saw it as me though. I really wanted to call her 'darling' but I was afraid of doing it.. Have never been, but.. I really was. Called her 'sweety' instead when I couldn't hold it in. But then she asked whether or not you could love somebody you have never met. She doesn't use the words like Americans do - love is a strong word to her. I said 'Yes.', just as that. You know, I believe you can love somebody without having met them. Otherwise I would've failed many times. She said 'Damn' and I said that I would be a living example of that. In the meaning that I have loved people before I met them and still love people I haven't met. And then she said 'Yeah. I swore to myself I would never let myself love anybody I had never met irl. Until I met you --' '. And I was kinda shocked. It's not often you well... is told that. So I wrote that it was unexpected. She wrote 'After I met you, Yuki, SO much have been changed. That's the reason I asked. I DON'T KNOW. Is it therefore? Or is it because you understand me? Or is it both? --' '. And I was like 'WHAT?!'. I don't know if she loves me, I don't know what it is. I didn't even know anything had changed! And I wrote that - not 'what', but.. Well, the other things. And she said it was too much to explain tonight, fair enough - she deals with a lot tonight. But I don't know how to react on it. My heart started pounding, but what if I'm totally wrong about everything. Or what if I'm right? What if I'm in love with her? Would it be alright? How would anybody react? Oh God D:
Ingen kommentarer:
Send en kommentar